93–94%
tickets resolved without a human
30/80 GUARANTEE · 30 DAYS
Your support team is drowning. Your buyers are walking. Let's fix both in 30 days.
15 minutes. No demo, no deck, no pitch.
✔ Built for Shopify ✔ +30% more cart conversions in 30 days ✔ 80%+ less support load ✔ Live in a day
PICK A TIME
That's the whole task.
We'll email you the Zoom link after you confirm.
SOCIAL PROOF
Why a guy who publicly hates chatbots quietly ran ours for 90 days.
Jon Benson runs BNSN.ai. Eight figures. Wrote the book on VSLs. Told Yifat Cohen to her face that he hates chatbots.
Then he installed Noem on his live site. Quietly. No announcement. No affiliate link. He told us flat: "I won't promote this unless it earns its keep."
90 DAYS LATER, ALPHA HAD:
1.83%
escalation rate (industry avg: 30–40%)
$20K
net-new revenue in 3 months
$50K/yr
saved on the support hire he didn't make
All on zero paid traffic. All on his existing list. All while he slept.
"Always available, always engaging. It just makes people more prone to buy again."
THE REAL MATH
What you're actually getting.
Most Shopify store owners think they're hiring a chatbot. They're not. They're getting five full-time roles in one agent, running 24/7, in every language your customers speak.
| Role | Full-time equivalent cost |
|---|---|
| AI personal shopper | $50,000 / yr |
| 24/7 multilingual receptionist | $80,000 / yr |
| Dedicated ad lead qualifier | $60,000 / yr |
| Full-time DM & inbox appointment setter | $70,000 / yr |
| Customer research & sentiment analyst | $60,000 / yr |
| If you hired the humans to do what noem.ai does | $320,000+ |
Your concierge does all of it for a fraction of one of those salaries. And it doesn't sleep, quit, or ask for PTO in December.
Shopify store owners who meet with us usually have one thing in common.
They already know.
They know how many leads hit their site at 11pm and never hear back. They know the follow-up sequence isn't getting sent. They know the support inbox is a bottleneck their team is too polite to flag.
They didn't land here hoping for a discount. They're on this page because they were already looking for the answer, and the universe handed them a reason to stop putting it off.
If that's you, the booking link is up there.
If it's not, no hard feelings. Pass the link to someone it's meant for.
ONE PROMISE
No pitch. No countdown timer. No script.
We talk about your support volume, your conversion rate, and where the carts leak. If your numbers say we can hit 30% more conversion or 80% fewer tickets in 30 days, we tell you. If they don't, we tell you that too and you keep your 15 minutes. We don't take clients we can't deliver for. The guarantee is in writing.
15 minutes · No pitch deck · Built for $5M+ Shopify stores
QUICK ANSWERS
Before you book.
What if I'm not sure my business needs this?
That's literally what the call is for. You'll know within 15 minutes if it's a fit or not.
Why only 15 minutes? Every other vendor wants an hour.
Because 15 minutes is how long it takes to know if there's a fit. Your support volume, your conversion rate, where the carts leak. We can read the shape of your business from those three numbers. If it's a fit, we book a working session. If it isn't, you got your afternoon back.
Will you pitch me on this call?
No. The 15 minutes is diagnostic, not a pitch. If we agree there's a fit, the next call is where we talk specifics: scope, timeline, what done-for-you means for your store. You won't leave this first call with an invoice or a follow-up sequence.
I've tried AI chatbots before and they were terrible. Why is this different?
Fair. Most of them are keyword-matching FAQ pages with a chat bubble on top. Noem.ai plugs directly into your Shopify catalog, order data, and policies. Real product search, live inventory, real order lookup. It holds context across a conversation and escalates with full history when a human is needed. That's a different category from what burned you last time. You don't have to take our word for it on this call. That's what the working session is for.
What does the guarantee actually mean?
30% more conversion or 80% fewer support tickets within 30 days of going live. If neither hits, we refund your setup fees and close the account. It's in writing. It applies to done-for-you packages. We only take clients we're confident we can deliver for, and that's why this first call exists.
What if it's not a fit?
Then we say so on the call and you keep your 15 minutes. We'd rather lose a sale than take a client we can't deliver for. The guarantee makes that math easy.